Heads and Principals in international schools and their partners often balance intense leadership demands with the challenges of international life. Many face frequent transitions, intense community visibility, and a range of competing personal and professional roles; unfortunately, the impact on these relationships can be brutal. At the Bangkok ELC conference last October, we hosted a workshop on this topic, and over 40 people attended, contributing rich wisdom to the conversation. In response, we are piloting a new initiative called the Thriving Couples in Leadership Retreat in Bintan, Indonesia (close to Singapore) that supports these couples in a relaxed and collegial manner from March 6th-8th, 2026.  If you are a Head or Principal please consider registering and please share with your colleagues too. 

Purpose 

“The bottom line – in our international school leadership journey, we have seen too much separation and divorce, too much loneliness, too much isolation, nowhere to turn to as couples, and no acknowledgment of the importance of “us” as a couple (a leader and spouse). We talk about the importance of relationships in our personal wellbeing and in our school communities, we talk about embracing people’s lives, but we do not talk or provide space for a conversation about the wellbeing of our most important relationship – that with our spouse or partner. There is no place or safe space to get support as a couple, to share challenges as a couple”. Dee and Kevin Baker.

This initiative is not a retreat for broken relationships or any sort of marriage enrichment programme. Instead, it is an opportunity for leaders and their partners in their highly visible roles to invest time into their relationship and for their schools to recognise the importance of prioritising this relationship.

We have observed and experienced many of the issues, dilemmas and tensions that couples experience in these international contexts. (i.e., role, place, importance, significance, public demands and expectations, lack of support, mental and physical well-being, disconnection, clashing of values, safety & trust, confidentiality, juggling time for children and extended family abroad etc).

This retreat is an opportunity for leaders and their partners to; 

• have a break together in a relaxed and beautiful setting well removed from the distractions and pressures of their workplace. 
• acknowledge and explore various issues, dilemmas and tensions that couples in similar roles may experience and which are unique to the International School Leadership context.  

• explore options and ideas that other couples have intentionally used that have helped their relationship flourish.  

The essence of the retreat is that we believe the #1 contributor to the performance of our school senior leaders is their wellbeing. For those leaders who have a partner or spouse (same sex or opposite sex), the quality of this relationship is the most impactful factor on the leader’s wellbeing and performance. We have experienced many friends who have had broken relationships, and this had a severe impact on their work. Through this retreat we hope to support ‘Thriving couples in Leadership’. 

Too often, the partner or spouse of an international school leader is ‘the invisible person’. They are often not included in the life of the school or community. Yet, this person is the most important person and support in the life of the leader” . Dee and Kevin Baker.

Participants 

• Heads and Principals and their spouse/partner from across international schools in Asia 
• We are focussed on these specific senior leaders because we believe that there are dilemmas, pressures and scenarios that are specific issues for these senior roles over and above what all leaders can experience.  
• Places are limited to 18 couples . 

Partnership

• The Thriving Couples in Leadership Retreat is an EARCOS (East Asian Regional Council of Overseas Schools) weekend workshop and a partnership between American International School of Guangzhou and Leadership Lab Global

Dates

• The retreat starts on Friday March 6th and finishes on Sunday March 8th 
• Couples are asked to book the 2pm ferry from Singapore to Bintan Island on Friday March 6th and return on the 1.35pm ferry back to Singapore on Sunday March 8th. 

• Logistics: 
  • Fly to Singapore Changi Airport, Singapore
  • 10 min taxi to Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal (TMFT), Singapore
  • 70 min ferry to Bintan Island, Indonesia. https://www.brf.com.sg/ (port Bandar Bentan Telani Ferry Terminal – BBT)
  • 5 min transfer to Nirwana Resort Hotel (complimentary)

Timeframes 

• Friday 
  • Ferry (2pm ex Singapore arrives Bintan 2.10) (note there is also an 11.10 Ferry if anyone wants to come early) 
  • Session 1: 4.00-5.30pm
  • Dinner and evening – free to socialize or sleep 
• Saturday 
  • Session 2: 10-11.30
  • Session 3: 3.30-5.00
  • Dinner together at Seafood restaurant
• Sunday 
  • Session 4: 10.00-11.30
  • Ferry 1.35pm (arrive Singapore 3.45pm) 
• All sessions are optional but encouraged allowing you as a couple to decide the right balance of interaction with others, and space to relax alone. 

Facilitators

• Dee and Kevin Baker – have been married for over 35 years and have 30 years of experience in International Schools in the EARCOS region, having served in Hong Kong, Korea and now in China at the American International School of Guangzhou.  Dee and Kevin are from the US and call Omaha, Nebraska home when they are not in Asia. 
• Lyn Jansen and Chris Jansen have been married for 30 years and have extensive experience in holding leadership roles, as well as training leaders across Asia. 

Venue

• The venue for the “Thriving Couples in Leadership Retreat” is Nirwana Resort, Bintan Island, Indonesia. https://www.nirwanagardens.id/hotel-villas/nirwana-resort-hotel/
• Nirwana Resort Hotel, part of Nirwana Gardens was originally established in 1997 and renovated extensively in 2015.  Within its 5 star rating it has a variety of very comfortable rooms available, a small range of restaurants, an extensive pool complex, and a superb range of recreational facilities within the large property. 
• Here is a booking link with which you can access the group booking rate for Friday and Saturday nights. 
• We would recommend booking the Nirwana Premier Room on the pool side, as it has views of pool and beach however each couple can make their own choice of type of room to suit their preferences and budget. 

Additional photographs of Nirwana Resort 

Cost

• The registration fee which contributes to the facilitation from Dee, Kevin, Lyn and Chris is; 
  • EARCOS members – US$500 / couple
  • Non-EARCOS members – US$750 / couple
• Each couple will be required to arrange their own travel plans and accommodation at Nirwana Resort as well as their own food and drinks while at the retreat. 
• Transport includes
  • Flights return to Singapore
  • Ferry from Singapore to Bintan Island return (approx SG$90rtn) 

Registration process

Registrations are open now and places are limited to 36 people – 18 couples . If you are interested in applying to be part of the Thriving Couples in Leadership Retreat please fill out this Registration form

Any queries please email Chris on chris@leadershiplab.co.nz